The Scale vs. Me

So a funny thing happened to me the other day...

I haven’t weighed myself in quite some time. I was becoming obsessed with the scale so I just decided to cut myself off... cold turkey. That was about two years ago. The only times I see what I weigh are at the doctor’s office. But mostly, I decide which way I should approach my eating and workouts by the way my clothes fit. Jeans a little snug? Okay, scale back on the portion sizes and add in an extra workout session. Within a week or two, voila, I’m back.

The fancy scale in my bathroom ran out of battery because it turns out, my cat likes to sit on it. All day. But we needed to weigh our girls for some forms we needed to fill out so we got a new battery and the scale came back to life.

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Just for kicks and giggles, I went on it the next morning. The scale is so fancy that you have to step on it once so that it calibrates for you and then you step on it and it gives you your weight and your body fat percentage. The latter is not very accurate but I like to take a peek and see what the computer thinks.

Well, I stepped on and to my surprise, I weighed 5 lbs. more than I felt. Do you know what I mean by felt? If you know your body well enough, you get a sense of how much you weigh. Usually, I’m not too far off. Well, I guess it had been awhile since I did this little test because the number glaring back at me was a number I hadn’t seen in 20 years.

To my surprise, I didn’t panic, cry or get hysterical. The number didn’t bother me. What? For the first time in my life, the number on the scale was just that... a number. It did not dictate my mood, my peace of mind or my temper. This is huge, you guys! I mean, if you are a female, you’ve probably experienced a bad relationship with the scale where it had the power ruin your entire day!

So how did I get here? What did I do to overcome my battle with the scale?

Firstly, I think it’s getting older and wiser. Trust me, I’ve fought the number battle long and hard to stay within a certain range for as long as I can remember. I think I just got tired of it. I also got tired... physically... trying to keep up with the workouts and the meals that would ensure I would stay within that range (aka prison).

Secondly, I prayed a lot. This is something that has controlled me in the past and I needed a clean break from it. And nothing is too small or silly for God. Even your obsession with the number on the scale. Just take it to Him. He will help you break your stronghold. Whatever your struggles are, if it’s dominating you or taking over your thoughts so that that is what you are thinking about more than 50% of the time, you need a clean break. And from experience, nothing has made a more permanent change than when God’s hand is in it.

Thirdly, I just appreciate my body more now than ever. After all of my injuries, it still functions! When I take my dog for a walk and he breaks into a sprint and I can keep up, total win. The fact that I can lift weights and train! It is a privilege, y’all (I’ve had rhabdomyolysis and had to stop working out for weeks!). I get to go to my basement gym, turn on some music and just get lost in my workouts. It’s been 8+ years of consistent training and I’m still not sick of it. I still get excited for it.

Oh, the reason why I’m writing this post... and this is the funny part. My husband went on the scale as well and it also told him he gained 5 lbs. Hmmmm.... strange. He did not gain weight. So I went on it again and well, doggonit, I was exactly where I thought I weighed. I weighed where I felt. The scale was not functioning properly the other day! And just to make sure, I went on it again the next day. I think I’m done with this scale business until my next doctor’s appointment.

I’m really glad to have gone through this little exercise. Now I know that the number on the scale does not dictate my feelings. I have the power and the control to make that number increase or decrease... and I have the power to decide how I am going to feel, regardless of what the number on the scale tells me.

If you are in a place where the scale, weight, meals, workouts are running your thoughts, your moods, your life... please reach out to someone. It’s not silly. It may take awhile to break the obsession (it took me years) but once you can step away from it, I promise you, it’s worth it. When you can look at yourself, slightly heavier, not as cut, and think, “Hey, I look and feel amazing today!”, there are no words to describe the victory you’ve just won. Oh, I wish that for you!

I pray that you find freedom and joy and take back your life and start enjoying everything and everyone around you.

If you would like prayers around this, please go to the “Prayer Request” tab and fill it out. It would be my privilege and honor to pray for you.

Xx,

Essie

Esther Choi Williams